Nasty Freeloaders
by FruhlingDragon
Summary: Have you noticed that many magic tools such as giant Doomsday clocks or portals to other dimensions require Celestial Mages to function? Zeref did. That's why he decided to send his dragon to one too. So now Lucy Heartfilia is hosting Acnologia in her body. Well, crap, this is bound to cause some problems. Some crackfic elements. Almost total OOC. Rates T just in case.
1. Chapter 1: Not Enough Rainbow Dash?

**Hi, everyone. Here's a new story I thought up. It's a bit random and might not make a lot of sense, but bear with me here. As usual, if it doesn't get good reception I'll delete it. I don't own Fairy Tail and someone's probably thought this up before me, but here it is anyways. I present to you;**

* * *

Nasty Freeloaders

Chapter 1: Not Enough Rainbow Dash?

Zeref's POV

I flipped idly through my book and skimmed the pages. It had been a awhile since Acnologia and I incinerated the guild on the island. I still remember it like it was yesterday. Well, when you live for hundreds of years, I suppose it sort of is like yesterday.

I flipped another page, glared at it, then shut the book and tossed it over my shoulder before turning to look around my cave.

I had been camped out here for awhile since the mortals were mad with me and I didn't want to accidentally kill any of them. Acnologia returned occasionally but normally he just hid elsewhere and ran for the quote, "troublesome, annoying, ant humans". Speaking of which, he should be visiting any day now.

I stepped down from my chair and leaned against the wall under a flaming touch. It reminded me of Natsu. _Natsu..._

I thought back to when I had last seen him, at that island, Tenrou, I think it was called. He had been with all his new friends in that guild; Fairy Tail. They had fought bravely and together.

I scratching sound interrupted my thoughts. I closed my eyes.

"Ah, Acnologia, I didn't see you there." I shifted my weight slightly.

"Yeah, right, stop trying to sound cool," came his answer. The huge black dragon loomed over me and I could see the red tinted in his eyes.

"I was being serious," I muttered back.

"Whatever. Did you notice all that stuff on the Infinity Clock while being tapped in here?"

"No, not at all," I said sarcastically. "It wasn't on the morning news."

"Ehh, I think there was something else I was supposed to tell you."

"Then tell me," I grumbled.

"Oh yeah, that guild I blew up 7 years ago returned a few months ago."

"That's ni- what!? Fairy Tail!?"

"I think that's the one."

I stared at him in shock.

"Oh, and they're the ones responsible for saving the world from the clock," added Acnologia. "Apparently some Celestial Mage got captured to be used as fuel."

Celestial Mage? "Right!" I exclaimed. "I remember now!"

"Remember what?" muttered Acnologia.

"I found a way for you to be safe from the humans."

"Oh?" hummed Acnologia, looking interested despite himself.

"Yessss," I hissed softly, rubbing my hands together evilly. I loved teasing Acnologia.

"What are you planning?" growled Acnologia.

I turned around holding a needle filled with a rainbow colored substance and smiled evilly.

"Zeref..." Acnologia growled a warning.

"If I put this in your body you will be transferred into Fairy Tail's Celestail Mage's body," I laughed softly. "She's so light she should be able to hold you." I held up the needle like a deranged scientist.

"I don't want to be stuck in some weakling human's body!" complained the large black dragon. "And what's in the stuff, anyways?"

"Anise seeds, darkness, nightshade, Rainbow Dash, pure death magic, sugar, and my own blood," I said.

"You put sugar in it!?" wailed Acnologia, staggering away from me. "I don't want it! Stay away!"

"Oh, no!" I laughed, enjoying insanity mode. Emo had been rather boring and badass got old after a while. "You're going into that girl's body!"

"I don't care about that, just keep that sugar away! And that sentence sounded really wrong!"

"Hehehe..."

Acnologia took a deep breath and prepared to blast me. "Roar of the..."

I teleported onto his back and lifted the needle above my head, ready to strike between the black scales on Acnologia's neck. The rainbow colored liquid in the bottle glinted in the light from the torches. I stabbed downwards.

"WAIT!" someone yelled. The needle froze mere inches from Acnologia's neck.

A girl with golden hair braided down her back and a black cloak stood on the floor to the cave. She had 4 blood red beads in her hair and cat ears. I also spotted a long furry tail waving slightly from under the black folds of her cloak. Her hand was raised, palm out.

"Wait," she repeated.

In a flash she reappeared in behind me. In tensed, expecting her to attack. Instead she just pulled out a lab coat and draped it over me. Then she took a step back as if admiring her work. Acnologia and I stared at her.

"What?" she asked. "You wouldn't be a crazy doctor without the lab coat. Continue." She waved her hand at me.

I blinked a few times before shrugging and turning back to my work. The needle fell.

"W-wait, don't do it!" wailed Acnologia. Too late. I pushed down on the top and felt to the rainbow colored liquid squeeze out and into Acnologia.

Acnologia began to dissipate, his body dissolving into black smoke.

"Ha-ha, I did it!" I triumphed.

"Who's side are you on!?"

"Now you'll be stuck in that puny human's body forever!" I jumped up and down happily before realizing that being on the top of the quickly disappearing Acnologia was not a good idea.

"Oh, crap," I managed, before I dropped to the ground. Thanks to my brilliant reflexes I landed flat on my face.

I pulled my nose from the rock just in time to see Acnologia completely disappear with only a few wisps of black smoke and a fading echo of, "I'll get you my pretty, and your little dragon too. Wait, I'm the dragon. Never mind!"

I watched as the last of the mist faded. I yawned a rubbed the back of my head and walked over to my computer. I tapped a few buttons and a diagram projected onto the side if the cave. It had a blue background and showed a picture of the girl, Lucy something-or-another. I watched as the black orb that was Acnologia's soul move steadily towards her. I rubbed my hands together. Perfect.

The idea was that Acnologia would be transferred into her body and be trapped there. Nobody could hurt him and the girl was a Celestial Mage, which meant she used a version of light magic and goodness. Therefore, she should be able to hold Acnologia.

I narrowed my eyes at the screen as the soul collided with the girl. "Come on...come on," I muttered. The girl, Lucy whatever, glowed and then her image settled. I blinked. Something had gone wrong.

The girl who had had a human body and gold hair earlier looked very different now. She had large black wings just like Acnologia's and a long scaly black tail. The tip had an axe-shaped blue blade. Her nails were also black and sharp and she had a set of blue horns poking up from her hair.

I frowned and rubbed an imaginary beard. Apparently I had misjudged her strength a bit and now she had literally merged with Acnologia. A powerful Celestial Mage with the Dragon of the Apocalypse sharing a body. Interesting... I pulled the lab coat around myself feeling happily like a deranged lunatic.

I picked up a bloody blue feather from the floor and held it up to the light of the computer monitor. Then I held up the empty needle and looked at them together.

"Maybe I didn't prepare the potion well enough," I thought out loud. "I should have blotted Acnologia's power more. Not enough Rainbow Dash?

[]{}[]{}[]{}[]{}[]{}[]{}

In a land far, far away, actually, no. It was only like a two hours train, 6 for Natsu. But getting back to the story. In a land not so far away Lucy Heartfilia woke from her happy dream feeling a bit weird. Her head felt crowded and she briefly wondered if someone had moved her breasts to her back.

'_Whatever, I'm going to take a shower,'_ she thought, stepping out of bed and rubbing her eyes. She stopped when she noticed, in her bleary, half-asleep state, that her nails were black and sharp. _'What the...'_

* * *

**So, what'd you think? Should I bother continuing? I probably will anyways because I get to sit on a train for 6 hour tomorrow and have nothing better to do. Oh joy... Read and Reveiw!**


	2. Chapter 2: Backwards

**New chapter! Sorry it took so long, I wasn't sure I wanted to continue this. I also pretty bad at writing crack even though I love it, so please ignore my pitiful attempts at humor. Thanks!**

* * *

Nasty Freeloaders

Chapter 2: Backwards

Lucy's POV

I blinked in confusion at my black nails. I was pretty sure I hadn't done anything to them, but maybe one of my friends had for a prank? I wouldn't put it past them, especially Mira or Levy. I wondered if I had been drunk last night, but no. I was pretty sure that I had been sober and nobody was drinking except for Cana and the usual.

I brushed it off and dropped my hand to my side. I slid my feet out from under the covers and placed them on the ground. My back felt weirdly heavy and I frowned in annoyance. Was I sure I hadn't been drunk last night? Well, my head didn't really hurt, so I supposed not. But it was still strange.

I stepped off the bed and promptly fell over. My body's weight was all messed up. My feet felt longer, my butt felt heavy, and I swear someone had moved my boobs to my back.

I craned my neck around to try look, but my vision was still blurry from sleep. Oh well, mirror time!

I shuffled over to the full length mirror propped up against my bathroom door. It had pink edges and overall looked rather cheesy, but I had gotten it for 200 jewels at a department store, a bargain.

I took one look and my hands flew to my mouth.

What.

The.

_Hell!? _

Was this some kind of sick joke!? Was someone playing a trick on me!? How in the world was this even possible!? I fought the urge to cry.

I was some sort of dragon hybrid. Large black wings that skimmed the floor folded up arched from my back. They had grayish-black sails and small, pitch black scales lining the bones. A long tail tipped with an axe snaked from right above my butt. But that was only the notice at first glance stuff. My nails on both my hands and feet were sharp and black, filed to points. A set of black horns poked from under my hair in the area around my ears. Small patches of scales lined my arms and my eyes- my beautiful chocolate eyes!- were a deep, blood red.

I reached up and touched my face. The monster in the mirror did the same. I reach around and stroked my new wings. I blinked in surprise. I could sorta feel the touch beneath the scale. It was nice.

I tensed my shoulder muscles and closed my eyes. Now that I knew they existed, I could feel my wings. I raised them experimentally.

_Oops._

The wings were larger than I had earlier expected. They flared out with a wingspan of at least 15 feet and knocked over my closet and several books. They landed with a _crash! _

I groaned. What could I do now? I had dragon parts and I had absolutely no idea how I got them. My tail started flicking back and forth in irritation and I knocked over the last pieces of furniture. The axe on the edge sliced through a lamp neatly. _Crap_.

I knew I had to do something. I meant, seriously? What kind of crazy joke was this? I swear I'll kill whoever did this. Or maybe stick them in a room with Aquarius for a day. Same difference.

I decided that the best option was for me to go to Fairy Tail. This was obviously a magic problem and they would probably know what to do.

I rubbed my new horns in annoyance. Whoever did this had it coming...

Wait, how was a supposed to get to Fairy Tail? I couldn't exactly go out like this in public, people would stare at me. And there was no possible way to hide my wings and tail, they were to large, and especially not the horns.

Something snapped in my mind. Wings! Of course! I could fly to Fairy Tail!

I perched in my windowsill, feeling like Natsu. I looked down at the busy street. Even though Strawberry Street was usually quiet, today was really nice and lots of people were out, walking or shopping.

I very carefully spread my wings. They had a wingspan of 15 feet, nearly three times my height. I had already destroyed most of my house but there wasn't much to do about that.

I took a deep breath. _Calm yourself, Lucy. You can do this. _I jumped out the window.

Let's just say that it didn't go quite as planned. I face-planted into the cement. My tail kinked up and my wings flopped to the side. The axe cracked the cement more than I already had. But it didn't hurt, which was very surprising. I felt like I could feel the stone through my face. It was really strange, but I guess it was also good consequence of this weird transformation. I could have died if I had jumped out the window normally.

"What are you!?" Someone's voice pulled me from my daze. I stood up shakily, my wings and tail dropping on the ground. I looked up into the terrified eyes of another teenager, about my age. I glanced down at myself.

Dragon parts, check. Freaky black scales, check. Pajamas, check. I hadn't undressed. Well, actually, I couldn't. My wings and tail had grown out of the clothes and they were large enough that I couldn't put anything else on. At least my pajamas were appropriate.

"Dragon!" chirped a little girl, holding her mother's hand and pointing.

"D-dragon!?" I choked. Is that really what I looked like?

A small crowd of people had gathered around me, pointing and muttering. I staggered backwards against the wall, uncomfortable at all the attention. It felt like they were al laughing at my condition. My wings lifted from the ground. The black scales glittered like gems in the sunlight.

Excited murmuring filled the small crowd. I admit it, I was scared. So I did what any frightened animal would do; I bolted. Straight to Fairy Tail.

Natsu's POV

I was heading to Lucy's house like I always do. Happy and I had found a good mission that she would like. We had already checked the guild but she wasn't there so I was heading to her house to pick her up.

When I got there a small group of people were gathered around the area under the windowsill. I frowned. That was unusual.

I squeezed through the crowd and crouched down at the ground which everyone was looking at. My eyes widened.

There were several large dents in the cement where it looked like something very heavy had landed in it. They were right underneath the window where I usually climbed in through. It had to be Lucy! But where was she?

I looked around at the crowd but didn't see the familiar golden head. I hopped up the wall and squeezed through the window. Some of the people yelled at me, but I ignored them.

Lucy's house was a mess. It looked like some sort of rabid beast had tramped through it. Furniture was everywhere and shattered bits of glass and bits of paper littered the floor. My eyes stared around worriedly. Something bad had obviously happened to her. I didn't see any blood, but that didn't mean much.

I walked forward slowly, being uncharacteristically careful not to step on anything important.

Something glinted in the corner of my vision and I turned to it. Lucy's keys! They were between the broken halves of a table. She didn't have her keys... Lucy never went anywhere without them; the situation was worse than I thought. She could be in serious trouble! I had to find her, fast.

I grabbed the ring and jumped swiftly out the window. I narrowly missed hitting the still-curious crowd and added another dent to the cement. Then I turned on the soles of my feet and ran directly to Fairy Tail.

"DAMN YOU, HIRO TROLL GOD!" I yelled to the sky. "KEEP THE WEIRD PLOT TWISTS TO YOURSELF!"

[]{}[]{}[]{}[]{}[]{}

A face with a mischievous smile appeared in the clouds.

_"Silly,"_ it said. _"I shall stall Nalu forever. Just keep waiting, you pink-haired creep. I'm glad a gave you a tragic past because now you'll never have Lucy either. Or Igneel. Maybe. Man, I love being evil."_

[]{}[]{}[]{}[]{}[]{}

Lucy's POV

I got to the guild as fast as I could and stood, panting, outside the door. My drooping wings scrapped small lines in the dirt and I had already sliced several support beams to various houses by accident with my tail.

I reached to open the door, but stopped. I was a crazy freak now. Would they accept me enough to find the person who did this and help me murder him/her? I hoped so.

I pushed open the door and slipped inside. It was unusually quite, probably because Natsu had yet to make his arrival.

"Ah, Lu-chan!" Levy trotted up to me, clutching a book to her chest.

I smiled and waved. "Hey, Levy-chan. New book?"

She nodded happily. "Yeah, it's called- eeeppp! What in the world happened to you!?" She shrieked and pointed a quavering finger and my dragon parts.

"Oh, this?" I laughed nervously. "I have a...problem. Could you gather the girls for me? I don't want to freak anyone out before I can explain."

"Too late," muttered Levy. But she turned and began summoning people who could help me.

I few minutes later I was seated at a table in the middle of the guild. I shifted uncomfortably under the states of my guildmates.

"Soooo," began Erza. "Care to explain?"

I shifted my wings slightly. "I don't know. I just woke up like this. And all of you deny playing a trick on me or anything?"

A chorus of _'no'_ and _'I didn't do it' _followed my question.

I frowned. "Master? Do you know why I look like a dragon?" I supposed I was being surprisingly calm, but I was sure he could fix this.

Master hummed slightly, then he said. "I have absolutely no idea. Sorry!"

I groaned and everyone else fell over.

"LUCY!"

Everyone turned to the new voice. Natsu came charging into the guild, dust streaming behind him.

"Um, Natsu?" I asked but I was cut off my Natsu throwing himself at me. I yelped as we flew backwards and crashed into the ground. Natsu's arms wrapped around me while I flailed helplessly.

"G-gerrof me!" I complained. Suddenly, I felt strength flow through my arms and with a mighty push, I send Natsu flying across the room. He crashed into the wall and slid down it, unconscious.

I winced at the sound and the size of the hole in the wall. "Oops?"

Everyone stared at me then back at Natsu. They all started talking at once.

"Did you see that?"

"She knocked out Natsu in one hit!"

"What kind of power is that!?"

"Some sick strength..."

"And I thought that Natsu had the true power of a dragon."

"Lucy..." breathed Erza. "That was pretty awesome. I guess there are some benefits to...whatever happened to you." She waved her hand expressively.

"No!" I wailed, clutching my horns. "I want out of this form! None of us seem to know how I got this way; I mean, look at me! I'm a half dragon! Aren't any of you disturbed by this?! I suddenly have some crazy strength and I nearly destroyed my house and knocked out Natsu-"

"Lucy." Erza slung her arm over my shoulder.

"E-erza?" I stuttered. Tears dripped down her checks.

"Lucy," she said, brushing away tears.

"You have destroyed something larger than yourself. That means you are now a full member of Fairy Tail."

"Wha...?" I facepalmed and everyone else fell over again.

"No, no, no!" I complained. "I don't want to be a dragon! I mean, dragons are fine-" I glanced nervously at Natsu- "but I don't want to be one! And how in the wor-"

_ Ow_.

I froze mid-sentence. Did I imagine that?

_Ow, ow, ow. _

Nope, definitely not.

"Umm, who are you?" I asked hesitantly, getting some strange looks.

_Ehh, where am I? _

"You're at the Fairy Tail guild." People were really giving me weird looks now.

_Fairy Tail? Wait, that means... Oh, crap._

"Who are you?"

_ You're Lucy Heartfilia, correct? _

"Yeah..."

_Figures. I guess he succeeded then. Very well, I will introduce myself. I am Acnologia, Black Dragon of the Apocalypse. _

"WHAT!?"

* * *

**Bit of Nalu at the end. Sorry to leave you guys at a cliffhanger, but get used to it. I'll do it every single chapter. Read and Review!**


End file.
